Rating: ★★★★★

In Summary

Genre: Non-fiction- interviews intertwined with memoir.

Publication Date: July 15th  2021

No. Of Pages: 320

Keywords: Love, friendship, parenthood, loss, sex.

Content Warnings: miscarriage, grief, suicide.

Format:  Hardback, eBook and audiobook.

https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/317/317672/conversations-on-love/9780241448731.html

Review

Based on her newsletter of the same name, Natasha Lunn’s Conversations on Love is an insightful and fascinating book, exploring love in all its forms from romance, friendship, and parenting to grief and heartbreak. 

Given the cultural importance we place on love, it is surprising how little we know and understand about it and this eclectic collection of interviews goes a long way to exploring love, connection, and loss in myriad ways. 

The book is divided into three parts: ‘how do we find love?’, ‘how do we sustain love?’ and ‘how can we survive losing love?’, in which Lunn gathers an array of interviewees (from novelist and trans activist Juno Dawson to philosopher Alain de Botton to psychotherapist Phillipa Perry) to offer their thoughts and experiences on obsessive fantasizing and prioritizing romantic relationships, the joy of friendship, the ‘life partnership’ you find in a sibling and surviving devastating loss. 

Lunn’s thoughtful interviewing style and her curiosity as a researcher brings out genuine vulnerability within her interviews, which are truly a joy to read- comforting, illuminating, and challenging in turn. Lunn skillfully intersperses these candid interviews with her own experiences of romance, friendship, miscarriage, and motherhood in a way that is deeply compelling, the beauty of her writing shining through in these lyrical personal passages.  

I found this book accessible and easy to read in little snippets if I didn’t have time to sit down for an hour, as the interviews are pretty short- though I couldn’t read it without a pen in hand to frantically underline passages! 

Particularly scribbled-on interviews included: Emily Nagoski’s explanation of why insecure relationships often provoke heightened sexual desire, Candice Carty-Williams on putting friendship back in its rightful place in our cultural hierarchy of relationships. and Melanie Reid on finding hope in the kindness of strangers in the shadow of personal tragedy. 

The pandemic has undoubtedly provoked many of us to reflect on connection, intimacy and loss and I feel this book is the perfect companion to those thoughts. From accepting the changing shape of long-term friendships in your thirties and beyond, the gifts of presenting messy vulnerability rather fantasy in fledging romantic relationships, to painstaking building hope after loss, this book is a wide-ranging, intimate, and heartfelt collection of voices and perspectives, encouraging you to consider, appreciate and tend the love in your life in all its infinite forms.

The Round Up

Standout Quote or Moment: “It seems to me that we expect so much from love, yet devote so little time to understanding it. Like wanting to dive into the sea but having no interest in learning to swim.”

Read If: You’d like a forensic, sensitive, and hopeful exploration of love, loss and connection that truly changes the way you think about relationships.

Similar Books: Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, Essays in Love by Alain de Botton and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did) by Phillipa Perry.

Last Impressions:  Moving, thought-provoking book that I wish I could send back to my past selves to understand the nuances and different forms of love. I feel like this is a book I’ll return to again and again at different times in my life and gain a fresh insight each time.

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Written By Hannah Stephings