In order to gain confidence, we need to first establish what "confidence" is. For me, it's a very personal definition. We each have our individual goals. But I do believe we can achieve general overall confidence in going about our day-to-day lives. 

There are lots of definitions out there that describe what confidence is. Some say it's a state of mind, some say it's a faith in yourself. Considering the Dictionary has several different explanations it's fair to say there is no wrong answer.

Talk to Yourself

This doesn't have to be as crazy as it sounds. 

Take 10 minutes out of our day to sit in front of our mirror and talk to ourselves. This is the time for positive vibes or positive affirmations if you call them that. But the most important thing is consistency. 

Writing a list of reasons why we are strong, why people love us and why we should love ourselves, it can be difficult at first. They might even be difficult to believe, however, after time and once they have sunk in we will start believing in them and believing in ourselves. This is a great first step. 

Be Kind to Yourself 

Many of us are far too hard on ourselves. Being hard on ourselves can be the easy way out sometimes and putting others in front of ourselves can make you feel good. The feel-good feeling can be misplaced. There are lots of things that can exhaust us both physically and mentally and downtime is essential. 

Being kind to ourselves can be in the form of running a nice bath after work and reading our favourite book, or it could be buying ourselves that skincare product we've been lusting for but is a little out of our price range. 

We can experiment with this, why not learn a new hobby or find a new community you can engage with and make new friends?

Stop Comparing 

This can be changing the habit of a lifetime. For most of us, comparing ourselves to others started in school. The thing to remember is that everything has circumstances; where you are in life is not necessarily where someone else is, your priorities are different, your backgrounds are different, and nobody is you. 

We are all shaped by our experiences and no two people can be the exact same, so how can we possibly compare? 

A good tip on how to stop this is to create a distraction technique or try to recognise when this happens. Is there a trigger? If so, what is that and is there anything that we can do to manage those triggers? It's all about self-reflection, practice makes perfect. 

Delete, Delete, Delete 

Social Media has had a huge impact on the mental health of people across the world. We live our lives out across a multitude of platforms and the pressure to follow celebrities, Love Island stars, the Kardashians can be too much.

Going back to my previous point about comparing, it's too easy to compare ourselves with these negative influences we face on our screens every day. It’s not only these celebrities that have an impact, but even people in our real lives too. 

It is important to understand that we cannot delete negative social media, but we can delete those who make us feel "unworthy". By surrounding ourselves with positive vibes and influences we can take back control. So even if you do wake up and the first thing we check is our phone in the morning, at least it's a feed full of positivity.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone 

This is the scariest of them all. It can be addictive but rewarding. By putting ourselves into a situation we normally wouldn’t choose to be in and finding a safe way out of it again can be so fulfilling. Facing our fears can give us value and the self-gratification of knowing how brave we are. Been there and done that comes to mind!

We can then take that confidence we have learned through these experiences to tackle the next stage of our journey because there is no quick fix; we must work on ourselves and the best thing we can invest in is us.

Written by: Gemma Jamieson

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