Lessons I’ve Learned From The Women In My Life
‘Us girls gotta stick together’ is a phrase that’s been repeated to me time and time again, and I’d never really taken the time to contemplate why.
Is it the feeling you get when you feel heard and understood? Is it because it’s reassuring to know there are people out there who have your back? For me, the truth is that I wouldn't be the person I am today without the support and encouragement from the women around me.
Women in my family who I spent time with during my childhood, women who have entered my life in different phases and taught me all they know, the friends I have made along the way, who are all incredible women living their best lives.
Unsplash: Manny Becerra
Lesson One: Good Things Come To Those Who Work
My Mam was a single parent to the three of us. Although my Dad was around, she single-handedly took charge of our lives, ensuring that we had everything we needed, drove us to youth clubs and dance classes and made sure we got our day to day tasks done - all whilst working over 40 hours a week caring for other people’s children.
My drive to work hard for the things I want and need comes from her. She taught me if you want something enough, you can achieve it by getting your head down and working for it. And until you’ve done the work and earned it, you will have to wait.
No point maxing out credit cards and causing more stress for yourself. The joy comes from saving and knowing you’ve earned it!
Lesson Two: Speak Your Mind And Your Truth
My Gran is not afraid to tell it as it is. Sometimes it can be too much… like the time she loudly exclaimed that there should be a size limit to leggings whilst walking behind a girl in a shopping centre. BUT, most of the time I admire her honesty.
It takes guts to speak your truth, to know your opinion on things and to not be afraid to air it. And that’s the lesson my Gran has taught me. Geordie’s have a saying: ‘Shy Bairns Get Nowt.’ and because of my Gran, this is the mantra I try to live by. Might as well say what you think…at least you know you stayed true to yourself.
Unsplash: Jude Beck
Lesson Three: Follow Your Own Path
When I was younger, I was OBSESSED with performing! I sang from the moment I woke up on a morning, through to going to bed at night. I spent hours perfecting self-taught dance routines or learning lyrics to whole albums. I think at some point my family had had enough and decided it would be good for me to join a local drama group to expel my performance energy.
I was taken to a nearby community hall where a local lady ran a youth theatre on a Sunday afternoon. Her name was Freda and she must have been in her 60’s at the time! We performed local shows every year, learned songs for charity concerts and met every week to dance and sing together as a cast.
Being part of this group cemented my love of performing and allowed me to experience performing to a live audience. Freda was one of the first people to say to me that if I wanted to perform for a living, I could, something that most adults told me was a silly dream that I couldn't possibly pursue!
I learned from her that community is special, connecting with your tribe will help shape you as a person, to follow your dreams AND that you can still have the energy to do things even when your labelled as ‘old’… even if that thing is teaching teenagers in your 60’s.
Lesson Four: Be Yourself
The most beautiful thing about good friends is that they choose you and you choose them. They do not have a bloodline obligation to invite you to events; they want you to be part of their life because you are you.
I think we are so quick to forget that. It is easy to lose touch with someone if you want to or find excuses in our busy lives, careers, and relationships to cut someone out.
But, your girl-friends continue to ask you for that drink, text to check in, invite you to their birthday party and ensure you are part of their lives!
And that is because they would not want to experience it without you! So thank you to every single one of my girls. My paranoia can find a way to tell me I am not good enough, and every time you reach out and stay in touch, you remind me that I am.
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Written By Elle Douglas
