What To Do When You Realise You're Feeling Unfulfilled At Work
Has it recently dawned on you that the things you’ve been working towards in your life are not all they were cracked up to be? Maybe you’ve moved into a dream role or hit a milestone that felt important to you in the past, but now it just feels a bit… meh?
If you relate to this, you might also feel a bit panicked or like you’re having a quarter-life crisis.
You may be thinking you’re the only one who feels this way, and putting a lot of pressure on yourself to figure out what to do about it.
Should you quit your job and go travelling? Retrain for a different industry? Move to a new place? Or just suck it up, because doesn’t everyone kind of hate their job anyway? The questions are endless!
You’ve done the right thing by clicking on this article. I’m going to help you feel calmer about this realisation you’ve had, and give you some practical next steps you can try straight away, to move towards more fulfilment in your life.
Photography by Sophie Carefull
First of all, know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
It is completely natural to question the meaning of life and feel bewildered when you achieve something you thought mattered deeply to you, only to find it leaves you feeling flat. Particularly in a culture that values outward markers of success like status, money, and the accumulation of material possessions.
In the UK at least, we are encouraged from a very young age to value traditional education (as opposed to learning in less formal settings) and the systems we are pushed through are all designed to eject us into the world of work, where we are then expected to want to climb the corporate ladder.
So it makes total sense that you may have followed this path, because you were strongly directed to do so! Of course, you may also genuinely value these things yourself and that’s more than OK too. However, our values change and evolve over time and depending on our circumstances. The Coronavirus pandemic, among other personal life shifts, may well be one of the factors that have led you to reassess how you’re spending your time.
Photography by Sophie Carefull
Take your time and don’t rush the process.
The first thing I’d suggest when you notice you’re feeling unfulfilled is to take a pause. Just naming this feeling for yourself is a brilliant first step. You may eventually want to share it with someone you trust if it helps to get it off your chest and relieve some of the shame you might be feeling (see above as to why you have nothing to be ashamed of!).
But for now, it can be between you and you. Take some deep breaths, go for a walk, cuddle your pet and just sit with the thoughts you’re having, without rushing to change them or ‘fix’ anything.
Avoid making any rash decisions like handing in your notice on your job or tenancy. Trusting your gut instincts about changes you want to make in your life is a wonderful thing, but it’s also important to pace yourself and keep your options open for now. There’s plenty of time to figure out the right way forward for you.
Get to know yourself and notice when you’re at your best.
In the pursuit of career goals that we may or may not have intentionally chosen for ourselves, it can be easy to lose touch with who we really are at our core, before the societal expectations of what a “good life” looks like were placed on us. So, if you’re at a crossroads and considering making a change, it’s a great opportunity to take a step back and reconnect with yourself before choosing your next step.
Spend some time thinking about what’s going on around you when you feel most like yourself, most at-peace, happiest. Who are you with? What are you doing? What are you thinking or daydreaming about?
You might also want to reflect on what brought you joy when you were little. Did you spend hours drawing or making a mess with crafts? Maybe you were the one in your family putting on plays and dance shows to perform in the living room? Perhaps you spent hours outdoors, getting muddy and climbing trees?
Look for little clues in these memories and notice what it is about them that felt so fun for you. This exercise is not about finding a career that’s an exact match for your childhood hobbies (although that could definitely be the case for some people!), but more an exploration of the values that are intrinsic to you as a person. You’ll also discover these by thinking about your favourite aspects of your favourite jobs that you’ve had so far. Make some notes on all this and see what patterns you can spot.
Photography by Sophie Carefull
Trust that you can cultivate the courage required to change direction.
One of the things that gets in the way of making changes and seeking a more meaningful path in life, is the idea that you need to be fully confident in the new role, industry or lifestyle that you want to move into, before you take that step. You might write yourself off before you even begin exploring your options, because you don’t feel brave enough yet.
But the truth is, bravery, courage and confidence are not fixed. They are attributes that you can intentionally nurture, and lots of that nurturing happens while you take action. So, as tempting as it is to wait for confidence to arrive, we really have to start taking small steps outside our comfort zone in order to actually feel more confident.
Yes, reading books, researching and asking others for advice or support can absolutely help, but the biggest factor in growing your self-belief is trying things and learning from them. Nothing beats it!
So don’t assume you can’t pursue a certain career, business idea or life path just because you don’t feel 100% sure you can handle it. Nobody has that kind of certainty when starting anything new, and you don’t need to expect that of yourself either. Focus on building up your self-trust and you’ll be well on your way to creating a life that feels truly meaningful to you.
In summary, if you’re feeling a little lost right now and wondering if you should make a big change in your work or life, remember to accept this feeling and know there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you for questioning where you’ve ended up. Take your time to process these feelings, and don’t rush yourself into any permanent decisions.
Do a little research project on yourself, exploring what brings you joy and fulfilment (when you remove the pressure of external expectations.) And finally, know that even if you don’t feel brave or confident enough to make the change you’re craving right now, it doesn’t mean you never will. Courage can be cultivated, and you’ve totally got what it takes to do that - and you’re worthy of it!
Written by Certified Self-belief Coach, Sophie Carefull
Sophie Carefull is a Coach, mentor and speaker on self-doubt and self-belief
As well as being part of our Bristol Girl Community (she was the very first Bristol Girl Community Manager in 2017), Sophie is a Certified Self-belief Coach for introverted creatives and a business mentor for branding photographers.
Book a free consultation to see how she can help you.