Why Saying Meghan is a Liar Hurts More Than You Can Imagine
Note: The following article contains discussion of themes including suicide that some readers may find upsetting.
I have been detached from the experience of Meghan. As a white woman, it has been my role to educate myself on the privileges this position affords me in the world, and the under the carpet racism the U.K. (press, especially) touts as ‘not really racist’. Yes, I have been sympathetic to her struggles and defensive of her actions to family and friends who see her as the conniving and manipulative woman the tabloids have made her out to be - but I could not say that I know what she is feeling, because I have not lived in her shoes.
My life experiences can only offer me a detached perspective, because I have not experienced racism. I have not experienced the press turning on me, nor have any idea of what being a royal really consists of.
But, on Monday night I watched as a young woman disclosed her darkest secret with bravery, vulnerability and honesty- and I saw myself reflected back at me. It floored me, to be honest. I am open about my mental health struggles, that I was suicidal as a young teen and still today experience suicidal ideation in times of stress and grief.
I watched Meghan in awe. That she had the courage to speak so openly about a topic which is still so taboo in our society. That she did it so eloquently, without the ‘drama’ or embellishment that she is so often accused. And then my heart sank.
Because I knew I was going to have to deal with friends and family talking about whether or not they believed her. Whether she was faking it. Making it up for attention. After all, how bad could her life have really been. She married a Prince and lived in a palace for heaven's sake!?
I knew that I was going to have to fortify my emotional walls, preparing to shut down family because this topic was not up for debate. Because if it was- then they would be debating me, and my experiences too. The only reason it took me so long to admit to myself and then to others that I needed help, was because I had ‘no reason to be depressed.’
Saying that a woman can’t feel so low she wants to take her life because she is royal, she is in love, she is expecting a baby, she is pretty, she is making it up for attention are all THE most damaging words you can say. I’ve been accused of making my health up for attention, and it’s left me with trauma I’ve carried for a decade.
There was an excellent quote doing the rounds last night which I think summed up my sentiment. “Meghan Markle might not see your comment or posts saying you don’t believe she was suicidal- but your friends who have been suicidal will.”
I am looking forward to seeing how Megan uses her newly freed voice to advocate for women’s rights and mental health. It’s important to remember that she was doing this long before she met and married Harry. Speaking up and out is not a new bandwagon she is jumping on for fame and money.
If breaking the taboo of talking about depression and suicide is something you want to get behind too, I highly recommend the following @dark.coffee.wellbeing on Instagram, Alice does an incredible job of talking about mental health and suicide with no judgement, making it a comfortable and everyday conversation.
You don’t have to agree with what happened, you don’t have to ‘take sides’. But if you don’t recognise the structural racism which led to their departure from the royal family, and led to Meghan feeling so isolated she contemplated suicide - whether or not you think she was ‘privileged’ - then you need to take a step back and educate yourself.
Think before you say something.The family member or friend laughing and smiling, who has seemingly got their life together and doing amazing may be the one struggling the most.
We would encourage anyone identifying with the topics raised in this article to reach out to organisations who can offer support, such as Samaritans on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk)
Help us keep the City Girl Network running by supporting us via Patreon for the price of a cheap cup of coffee- just £2 a month. For £3 a month you can also get yourself a Patreon exclusive 10% off any of our ticketed events! You can also support us by following us on Instagram, and by joining our City Girl Network (city-wide) Facebook group.
Written By Rachael Mole
