The Boris Bedtime Effect
I’d done it again. It was 10.15, 3 hours into a first date and I was back at a boy’s house. And I only had one person to blame: Boris Johnson.
The Boris Bedtime Law (not its official name, might I add) is the curfew that came into being on the 24th September in the UK, banning pubs and restaurants from staying open any later than 10pm. The law was created to slow the spread of Covid-19, but instead has had minimal effect as punters have swarmed the busy streets at kick out time. They’ve crammed onto the tube, drank outside off-licenses and even played cricket in the streets of Peckham. And the Covid cases have continued to rise.
But I want to talk about a different issue with Boris’ curfew. Nothing to do with the spread of Covid, or the recession… Or even Brexit. It’s that the 10pm rule is turning me into something I’d rather not be.
Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with shagging on the first date, in fact I actively encourage it. If you’re feeling the vibe, feel a bit more - that’s what I say. But sometimes I like to play at least somewhat hard to get, and Boris has made that increasingly difficult.
Where does the night go at 10pm when you’re in the middle of a lovely date? The drinks have been flowing, the tequilas have been shot… It’s too early to say goodbye, too cold to take drinks to the beach… What next?
The logical move is to take things back to the house. And as soon as you’ve in the comfort of your own home, it’s only a matter of time before, “you can come in for a glass of wine but no funny business,” turns into a bottle down and… well, funny business.
Next thing you know, it’s morning, you’ve got a Zoom meeting in half an hour and you’re Googling how to cover up a giant hickey.
If you’re thinking that story sounds far too specific to be a general overview of the entire dating population, you’d be very correct. It’s me. But surely it isn’t just me? I pondered: has this law made us sluttier as a nation? Are people expecting sex on the first date now? From the experience of myself and my closest friends, the answer is: yes.
I sat down with a couple of friends to discuss how the new laws had affected their dating lives.
“This curfew has meant going on dates earlier - I’d normally go at 9pm,” said one pal. It’s true: just as the nation took to Saturday day drinking, us daters have done the same. One of my pals recently went on a 4 o’clock date, resulting in her Facetiming me completely hammered (mid-date) and telling me how much she loved me. At 8pm.
“The early vibe can be a good one though, you can avoid getting too drunk and having a regretful shag… It [also] gives you a finish time if things are bad.” They had highlighted a huge benefit of the curfew: a ‘get out of jail free’ card for those truly awful dates you’re not quite sure how to exit. I could have done with this during my Tinder years.
“Yeah or you get too drunk and end up back at yours because the pubs are closing.” In my experience, the shorter drinking window does mean knocking the drinks back a bit quicker than usual, which is never going to end with good decisions. And the consensus amongst my pals was that they are much more likely to go home with their date than pre-curfew times.
“You’re like: ‘lets go back for a drink’... Doesn’t mean you have to shag... But you are more likely to.” This led me to the important question: ‘Does the ban against casual sex stop you from shagging casually?’ and the answer was a resounding no: “If I can’t shag casually Amber, I can’t shag at all”.
In all seriousness, the laws should be taken into account when engaging in sexual activity during this current period of time. You can also read this article for more information on how to have sex as safely as possible during the pandemic.
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Written by Amber Middleton
