Confessions of a Hostess: Overcoming The Pressure of Planning The Perfect Party
A social event is supposed to be fun, right?! After all, it’s an occasion to have people come together for a good time. But, in the midst of planning, have you ever run through scenarios in your head to the point where the event becomes a topic of dread?
You may have questioned whether people will actually come, or whether they will get bored. You may have obsessed over whether they will appreciate your choice of venue or whether they will judge something as simple as your music taste. Sound familiar? I am sure we have nearly all been here at some stage.
I will be first to put my hand up and say that I have gone as far as to cancel an event before (an event that could have potentially been a lot of fun!) due to overplaying potential awkward scenarios in my head. However, planning a social occasion does not have to cause so much anxiety. There are ways to at least moderate these concerns prior to the event itself and I have suggested a few below, which may be useful if this sounds relatable.
MODERATING SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE
Social media is a very convenient platform to share details of your event. On one hand, being able to track whether people are attending or not is a quick and useful way of getting the basic information that you need. However, this can also be extremely overwhelming and can cause unnecessary pressure.
If you’re prone to overthinking (especially over why someone is not attending or why they’ve left you in ‘maybe’ limbo) a useful alternative is to either send out hardcopy RSVP’s or if you are inclined to use a social media platform to organise your event, then you may choose to message your guests individually. It can take more time but the responses are less public and therefore less intimidating.
Another thing that may help if you are planning an event that doesn’t require too much notice, is to consider creating the online invite a week or two before the event actually happens. This may not always be feasible but it may reduce the time you dwell on the issue of guest attendance.
KEEP IT SIMPLE
If you’re nervous about an event that you’re planning and are second-guessing your ideas, it can be easy to reach out for the opinions of others. This is completely fine, and a second opinion is always worth having. However, it can then be hard knowing when to stop.
It is important to remember that preferences on themes, venues, music playlists and activities are all completely subjective. In reality, you will probably struggle to appease all of the same seven people you are asking about how the event should be run.
Instead, if it will help organise your thoughts, try making a checklist with one or two trusted friends and work from that. Unless the other guests specifically ask for more details, it may be best to initially provide them with the basic information (location, time, date and dress code). Always, always remember that there is no need to justify your choices!
PURPOSE OVER PERFECTION
This brings me onto the most important reminder you can make to yourself before an event.
Ultimately a social engagement isn’t to do with how perfect you can make it, it’s about why you are doing it. Maybe you’re catching up with old friends, maybe you would like to introduce a few of your colleagues, or maybe it’s your birthday and you just want to go out and celebrate. Whatever it is, always come back to the ‘why’.
POSITIVITY OVER POPULARITY
It is completely natural to occasionally feel vulnerable whilst planning an event, especially if we feel we may be judged for decisions we make. If this is a feeling you experience, try and condense your invite list to friends/ family/ colleagues you know you will be comfortable with, where you can. Numbers aren’t everything!
Sometimes, however, this is not achievable. Especially if it is a classic case of, “well if I invite this person, then I have to invite this other person too…” In this situation, it can be tricky. Especially if you don’t know that other person very well or if you know that certain guests don’t always see eye to eye with each other.
In any case, the best way to frame this in your mind is to accept that pleasing everybody is not your responsibility. This is not to say ignore the friend who looks uncomfortable by any means, but rather to remind yourself that we are all self-sufficient and if people don’t feel comfortable, then they are responsible for their own actions and behavior with others.
If you take anything away from reading this today, just remember that it is all about focusing on why, as opposed to who, what and where. It’s easy to get lost in the idea of perfection, but try and shift that energy and focus now on simply having fun.
Written by Em
Instagram/ Twitter: @eminemmz
