Book Review: How To Be Single And Happy By Jennifer Taitz. Beat Those Valentine's Blues!
Note: The following article contains discussion of suicide, depression, eating disorders and infertility.
Rating: 3.5 stars
Genre: Non-fiction, Self-help
Synopsis: How to Be Single and Happy is a delightfully empowering mash-up of a relationship/dating book and a guide to finding happiness in singledom - for however long it lasts. In other words, it’s the perfect antidote to those Valentine’s blues!
Dr Jennifer Taitz is a clinical psychologist who uses science to bust all the myths that play on our worst fears about single life. Her practical approach is aimed at finding happiness and wellbeing whatever your life stage or relationship status.
Review:
First Impressions
I find that lots of books for single women, although often briefly inspirational, work on the assumption that we want to construct a kind of utopia of singledom and reside there forever. However, the reality for many of us is that we’re trying to find a balance between accepting - even embracing - single life while at the same time actually wanting to look for a romantic partner. How to Be Single and Happy strikes this balance really well and shows how making the most of single life can, in fact, improve our chances when it comes to the dating world!
Structure
This book is divided into two parts - the first explains more about the psychology behind being single and dating. The numerous studies that are referenced seemed a bit artificial and contrived, but this may be a matter of taste and appeal more to those with an interest in clinical psychology.
I found the second part especially useful, as it focuses on practical advice to change your mindset and basically just be happier with life, whether we’re coupled up or not. The range of suggestions, such as being more mindful, giving to others, and focussing on values rather than goals, are sprinkled with little thought exercises and tips to help you apply the techniques.
There are also a whole lot of case studies incorporated throughout the book, which I connected with a lot more than the facts and stats! Even better, these are non-heteronormative and include women from a wide spectrum of backgrounds.
Most of the case studies are very relatable and involve situations the majority of us will have found ourselves in at some point. Others just made me feel a bit better about myself (like the girl who broke up with a boy in high school and he later turned out to be a rock star. Ouch!)
Content
One of the things I love most about reading nonfiction is that it often gives me the vocabulary to talk about thoughts and feelings I’ve always had but struggled to articulate. Terms such as ‘anticipated aloneness’ mean that I’ll be quicker to recognise that unhelpful “I’ll be alone forever” mentality after a breakup, so I can reframe the situation more realistically!
The advice Taitz offers is practical and doesn’t feel too daunting to implement. I’m definitely going to be taking on some of her suggestions, such as committing to mindfulness practice and creating a list that will remind me of values important to me outside of a romantic relationship.
Writing Style
Let’s face it: life as a single woman can be particularly difficult around Valentine’s Day. The couples in our lives seem to be cast in an idealised glow of romance. Meanwhile, we’re stuck fielding endless questions about our relationship status, not-so-subtly implying imminent doom if we haven’t started popping out babies by the time we hit our 30s.
Taitz’s style is perfect for this sort of situation. Her writing reminds me of that one no-nonsense friend who really cares about you but also isn’t going to let you waste your life wallowing in self-pity!
Favourite Quote:
“Taking care of yourself isn’t about settling for being single. It’s something you deserve whether you’re in a relationship or not.”
Read If: You’re looking for an empowering guide to living your best life regardless of relationship status.
Buy Now on Amazon
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Written by Florence Edwards
