How to Support your Black Friends Mental Health
What is Mental Health & Mental Illnesses? Mental Health – a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being (Oxford Dictionary). Regardless of who you ask to summarize Mental Health in a single sentence, it’s likely that they’ll struggle, mainly due to its immateriality. However, anyone’s attempt would probably sound somewhat similar to the Oxford Dictionary’s definition.
It’d be even harder to define Mental Illness, since having no visual attributes or obvious warning signs, it doesn’t appear to do any immediate damage from the outsider’s perspective, however, leaves a negative effect that usually makes many feel marginalized.
“Mental illnesses are health conditions involving changes in emotion, thinking, or behavior (or a combination of these). Mental illnesses are associated with distress and/or problems functioning in social, work, or family activities. Mental illnesses are common.” – states American Psychiatric Association.
What is Black Mental Health?
To better understand Black Mental Health, it’s worth acquainting yourself with the Black community’s testimonials.
Phillip J. Roundtree is the Founder of Quadefy LLC – an organization dedicated to providing empowerment services to enhance the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength of an individual, team, and/or business.
He is a staunch advocate of destigmatizing mental health, by promoting total wellness, amongst marginalized and often underrepresented communities. His transparency, as it relates to his journey in coping with depression and anxiety, gives a face, voice, and hope to those who’ve yet to recognize their emotional and cognitive strength.
In his “Black Mental Health Matters | TEDxWilmington”, Philip explains what Black Mental Health is, and why it is differentiated amongst racial and ethnic lines. He says:
“Black Mental Health is the individual and collective experiences that influence the wellness of a community.
Trauma is the biggest influencer of black mental health: historical trauma – slavery, Jim Crow, the civil rights movement, the Tuskegee Experiment, up until present day trauma, when you see someone like you get killed in their home, or by police, or by someone of your race… As a child, I learned how to suppress my emotions and feelings. But what if I didn’t?
Being a product of hip-hop culture, hip-hop tells me when somebody dies, you either go out and get some liquor or you go get a R.I.P.-tattoo… When we’re talking about depression and anxiety, in Black men especially, it doesn’t look like somebody lays in bed for six or seven days because it manifests itself through anger and rage.”
In his recent Instagram campaign @standup4justice, a.k.a. Justice Smith states:
“To be honest, I think that black mental illness is criminalized: when a black person is struggling with something mentally and they behave erratically or anti-socially, it’s associated with black cultural statutes or negatively associated with some form of eugenics. But when a white person behaves in the same way, they’re labeled as eccentric or a lone wolf.
There’s this outcry for stronger mental health resources, but I think it’s not just a stigma in the black community, it’s rooted in something institutional.
There are a lot of black families that are underprivileged – when you are just trying to get by and survive, it’s hard to think that your inner well-being is as important as your physical well-being: if I need to put food on the table, get my kids to school, I don’t have time to think about whether or not I feel upset today.
It’s not weak to reach out, it’s important and necessary for healing, and to build a support system for yourself. There’s no shame in talking about what you’re going through.”
Chante Meadows – the owner of the private practice (Meadows Counseling Group) focuses on identifying the effects of the stigmatized Black Mental Health in the Black community during her “Changing views on mental health in the Black community, TEDxKingLincolnBronzeville”
Explaining the consequences of such stigmatization, she shares:
“You know, we don’t talk about mental health in the black community and that keeps a lot of people suffering in silence.”
There’s the undeniable stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community. Rather than seeking professional help for conditions, such as depression and anxiety, many choose to resort to self-medication (drugs or alcohol), or self-isolation and exclusion from social activities, in an attempt to solve their problems on their own.
What Can be Done to Support Your Black Friends’ Mental Health?
Listen
Do not force a conversation on your Black friends – they aren’t obligated to share with you! Depending on the nature of your relationship, one day, they might feel ready to share their concerns and thoughts with you, and if that’s the case, your main job is to listen.
Do not relate their experiences to your own — they can’t be compared. Do not attempt to rationalize, debate, intellectualize, or downplay what they’re experiencing. If your Black friend is confiding in you, they might feel especially vulnerable and alone, it is your job to be there for them offering your attention and support.
Educate yourself to show that you care
Genuine commitment to supporting your Black friend would require you to be in charge of your anti-racist education. Find resources about allyship, white privilege, the history of systemic racism in your country, as well as theirs (if they come from abroad).
Attendance isn’t enough to demonstrate support — it is a long-term commitment and interest in taking action to make a difference and battle racial injustice. Educating yourself about its origins, main prejudices, and key stereotypes is a good start.
Do not get opinionated, judgmental, or emotional
Whatever might come across as odd, surprising, terrifying, or shocking you – police brutality, violence against peaceful uprisings and protests, is likely to have been your Black friends’ element of day-to-day life.
Don’t judge or express your beliefs with your Black friends that might have experienced such systemic injustices first-hand.
“[Black people] are not allowed to have the some human experience, you’re not allowed to grieve or struggle in the same way that other people are because you have all these external pressures on you,” explained Janaya Little, a culturally responsive educator.
Be prepared to find out the details, broaden or change your perspective, and show sympathy. However, avoid commenting, unless you’ve been asked to do so – it might come out irrelevant or inappropriate, given your and your Black friend’s differing backgrounds! Acknowledge, respect, and appreciate that!
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Written by Lisa Levytska
